I couldn’t help noticing the young fellow sitting in a booth by himself across from us in the restaurant. He looked uncomfortable and was alone for a good 30 minutes when finally a young lady arrived to be seated at the table with him. He was clearly relieved now that she was there. It was worth the wait I thought as I noticed how attractive she was. I relayed all this to my wife who was out with me that night. I spoke too soon.

No sooner was the young lady seated and had barely acknowledged the young man she had kept waiting when she pulled out her cell phone and made a call. That call lasted at least 20 minutes or more because by then my wife and I had finished our meal and were on our way out. During the last twenty minutes we were there we saw a very uncomfortable fellow across from a girl having an animated conversation on the phone. There was no question that she was having a great time and he was not. It might have been their first date. Perhaps it was also their last date.

The cell phone, and the regular telephone for that matter, are a wonderful communication devices. Depending on how you use them they can also be a great way to show people you don’t think much of them. Have you ever been in a store or office in the middle of or waiting to be served only to have the person that you are talking to pick up a ringing phone and proceed to serve someone else? At that time did you have the thought that the one on the phone didn’t make the effort that you just did to come in person?

It is like being at a social function and you are having a conversation with someone who is not looking at you but continues to scan the room looking for someone else or making sure that they are not missing anything. The cell phone accomplishes pretty much the same thing. Hang on while I take this call...

In meetings, boardrooms, restaurants, religious services, and other peoples' private residences, having your cell phone on and taking a call is tantamount to saying that where you are and what you are doing is not where you wish to be. You may not realize it but you are telling the people whose presence you are in that they are not very important to you.

If you want to make a good impression to others, get voicemail and turn the cell phone off. At least put it on vibrate and ignore it when you are with someone else. When you have a guest or client in your car do the same. Don’t break your personal interaction with a remote interruption. If you do, you are exhibiting rude behavior. If the phone happens to ring when someone else is around ignore it and let it go to voicemail. Without saying anything you will be telling the person you are with that they are important. Even better if you apologize for having the phone on and turn it off so you won’t be interrupted again. You are not giving the impression that you’re an important person by answering your cell phone. You are diminishing the relationship that is right in front of you. There is plenty of time to take and make your calls when you are alone. If not, then perhaps your life is out of control.

The most important people that I know always make me feel like I am the only person in the world that matters whenever we are together. They are not distracted by other things, especially a cell phone. These people know how to get the most out of a relationship. What they share in common with others like them is called class.

What about those times when it is absolutely necessary to take a call when you know you are going to be with someone? The best thing you can do is as soon as you meet, right after you have said your hello, is to apologize to them ahead of time, and let them know that you are going to be interrupted because of a pre-arranged and unavoidable call. Tell them how long they can expect to be on their own while you take and expeditiously end that all important call. When the call comes it is expected and you have bought some grace with the person you are with.

Put that cell phone in its place. Control it to work for you and not against you. Make others feel important by giving them your attention and not being distracted. It will leave a far better impression of you than a cell phone ever can.